But while you may be a boring dolt who is a complete drain on society, I’m a creative genius, and have perfected the art of openers.Today, on this blog, I am giving away 42 openers to all of you…COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE.I don't watch television = I watch Netflix instead.25. Looking to make friends = I think everyone is only online to have sex, and I'm scared.27. I'm easy-going = I don't make much effort.34. I'm really funny = I repeat jokes that other people say.36.I'm very sarcastic = I don't really understand humour.37.I like walks in the park, watching movies, and going to the pub on Sunday for roast dinner = I'm very bored.13.I'm a gym rat = I want to bond over protein powder.14.
I love life = I'm totally out of things to say.
either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be determined by the bizarrness of the sexual request to be made later that evening. All I have to do is read the paper: I'm marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. - Stockard Channing Fidelity to the subject's thoug Any idiot would know women's needs are simple.
O'Rourke What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house.
Looking for my partner in crime = MY FRIENDS CALL ME "DANGER" (no they don't).17.
Looking for some good banter = I think insults are a substitute for conversation.18.