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    I suck at dating

    Men in online dating are usually split into two categories.

    Those who seem to succeed with ease and those who struggle endlessly.

    ), I’ve re-worked dozens of men’s profiles and re-written hundreds of messages.

    and It’s a very sudden change for someone who had to go to family court four times just to break up with his first girlfriend. I’ve heard all the clichés: we’re selfish, lazy, indecisive, always needing a new source of emotional stimulation, and worried we’ll miss out on the next best thing.

    OK, but these explanations make us feel doomed to repeat those same selfish behaviors ad infinitum, continuing to hurt each other and to get hurt until we “settle.” The cynicism of it makes dating unbearable. They worried they would lose you for good if they said no, so they kept the momentum going just to buy some time as they thought it over.

    Just don’t lie or deceive them in order to get a “better” reaction, because if I’ve been on the other side of that, too, and I didn’t always handle it well.

    There have been times when I haven’t felt any chemistry on a date, but I felt it would be too arrogant to declare that.

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