Rather than dreading the next disagreement, I encourage you all to see it as a chance to learn more about your partner, while also giving them something they want in the process.I don’t know about you, but I’m more concerned about walking away from an argument feeling understood than feeling like I won.Clients often come to the clinic for three hours of therapy each day, augmented by peer or life coach counseling outside the office to practice the behaviors they fear.The result of our Intensive Outpatient Therapy is the client’s reduction and then elimination of the need to revert to the eating disorder when feeling overwhelmed.What’s wonderful about this activity, besides finding a resolution to conflict, is the opportunity you get to know your partner better.If you can look at these conversations as opportunities to get to know your partner’s love maps – their values, their desires, and their priorities – I have a hunch these conversations will go a lot more smoothly and end with a greater intimacy between partners.We use “coaching” to help the client recognize what they fear, to “show-up” for life’s obligations, and to slowly confront their fears through exposure therapy until they are mastered.
Table 1 lists some of the functions eating disorder symptoms can enable.
Jen specializes in couples therapy and individual therapy for depression, anxiety, and work burnout.
In addition to her private practice, Jen is also a member of the TGI staff.
While I was realistic enough to not expect my future partner to stride up on a white horse, I did have some misguided notions about what a healthy relationship should look like.
One belief I picked up was the expectation that well-suited couples didn’t argue with one another.